Today I, well, sorta kinda met Chuck Palahniuk.
I feel like I should be feeling a bit more starstruck than I am (and I am perfectly aware of how douche-y a thing that is to say). The man is as famous as most any contemporary American author in a cult sort of way, is a ‘name’ author in the sense of say, Dave Eggers or JSF, and yet I only really know him through Fight Club. The film, not the book. So it was kind of difficult for me to say much of anything other than ‘Hey,’ and smile politely when he complimented the bookstore as being ‘cool’. He was super low-key, rail thin, obviously older than be but not that dissimilar all things considered. I did not envy the fact that he was about to sign 12 boxes of boxes. Here’s how the meeting went in bizarro world:
Me: “Hey, it’s you! The Fight Club guy!”
CP (with a beard, since this is bizarro-world): “Hehe, good one, bookstore dude.” *does the gun shooting motion with both hands*
Me: “Man, Fight Club, that shit was pretty rad. Do people still say rad? If they do, man, that’s what Fight Club was.”
CP: “Is. Fight Club is. Not was. It’s not a deceased person. It still exists. It’s on your shelves right now.”
Me: *blinks slowly and shows no comprehension of the previous statement*
CP: *does the gun shooting motion again, somewhat less enthusiastically*
Me: “Hey, Fight Club guy! What’s the first rule of Fight Club, guy?”
CP: *sighs, shows the crushing world weariness that only a person whose entire oeuvre has been boiled down to one idiotic catch-phrase can feel*
Me: “I bet you know…”
CP: “YoudonottalkaboutFightClub.” (said mechanically as if one had just lost their soul)
Me: “Yeah!!!”
CP: *looks at watch*
Me: “Hey Fight Club guy. Do you know what the second rule of Fight Club is?”
CP: *shoots me in the chest with a large gun. Takes out old-fashioned quill and uses my blood to sign books*
Me: *dying* “pretty… rad…” *cough-cough*
Go and see Chuck Palahniuk at the Harold Washington Library, Chicagoans.
aw, bookstoredO, you gotta give us notice on these things!
By: oline on May 10, 2010
at 1:47 pm
I totally would have, had I been in the proverbial loop. But alas, I was un-looped this time around. I only found out about 5 minutes before Mr. Palahniuk walked in when i was told “Oh, by the way, you are driving the boxes up to the Library, OK?”
By: dougery on May 10, 2010
at 1:50 pm
Hehe. This is a fabulous fantasy sequence, I do say! Though I’m glad he didn’t really drain your blood to fill his pen…
By: Lara Ehrlich on May 14, 2010
at 10:13 am